“This way of living is not worth it”-each cell in my body screamed on a sunny day, just before the Christmas of 2012, as I heard the terrible news of one of our senior leaders falling in the lift, on his way to a client meeting. He had suffered a paralytic attack, most likely, an outcome of his work-related stress and the lifestyle he was leading.
I had already seen 39 earth cycles around the sun & my life was also filled with extreme stress. As a sales head, my days were replete with multiple weekly reviews, month-end & quarter-end pressures. Adding fuel to the fire was the urge to rise quickly in my corporate career and the anxiety of not progressing fast enough in comparison to others. My circumstances had led me to start smoking 10 years ago and depending on the day of the quarter, was averaging up to 15 sticks in a day.
While I had been contemplating quitting smoking for the last few months and had been experimenting with NLP & self-hypnosis, the above event proved to be the last straw. I quit smoking completely.
The results from NLP work also got me interested in exploring the possibilities of working with my mind, which gradually evolved into my tryst with spirituality.
Over the next 7 years, I got fascinated with all the “spirituality science” stuff available on internet-the affirmations, Law of Attraction methods & books, binaural beats etc. I started getting early wins with brief feelings of bliss during the guided meditations. I started attending workshops around mind techniques to manifest my career, money & relationships goals. The results were there, but patchy at best.
As my practice & knowledge grew, my overpowering thoughts evolved into deeper questions:
- Am I on the right path?
- What is my life path?
- Why do I not get results in line with my efforts, even when I know my skills & experience are much better than others.
As I reflected my life, I also started noticing patterns of being “second best”. Imagine, instead of being happy to be in the top few, I was a stressed-out nutcase. This was because I had grown up to always strive for perfection & be No.1 at everything-the best college, best job etc. To understand this situation better, I undertook past life regression sessions, which helped me in getting some clarity. However, my career struggles continued.
About a year back I experienced a low point in my career. Circumstances beyond my control got me into a role which was a sinking ship from the start-leading to my having to resign during the pandemic. The urge to get out of this rut once for all and know the real reason of my taking birth in this lifetime became very strong. The silver lining was that I had time on my hand.
Over the last 12 months I experimented with multiple tools & spiritual techniques on myself-right from chakra healing & balancing to release fears, self-hypnosis to change my beliefs, energy healing to heal my meridians, meditation & kriyas to balance my mind, mental reframing to change my perspectives of life events and struggles, visualisations & affirmations for a new job. All of them helped, but the real questions remained- What is my life path & how can I be guided to become the best version of myself in this life?
Two months back, I was guided towards Akashic records reading and got one done.
The session provided a lot of information, including my vows & curses in this life. The knowledge of my soul strengths, lessons to be learnt & goal of this birth brought some method to the madness and a sense of relief.
However, it was the work post the session, in reflecting & co-relating the received information with all my past patterns, emotions and struggles, that provided me with some amazing insights about my current life:
- Every life has a different meaning of spirituality- I had been a spiritual teacher in a lot of my past lives. In this birth, my means to spirituality is to live a practical & materialistic life. I also realised that I do not need to seek spirituality, it has always been there with me, I just need to tap into it.
- We, as souls, design our lives & take birth to learn lessons that help us grow- I took birth with a curse of submission in this life, after having experienced power in multiple past lives. This explained my constant urge to rise in career very fast but holding to the action due to lack of self-belief & downplaying my accomplishments. My life got dominated by feelings of anxiety, not getting enough results from my efforts & being unsupported by the divinity. As I reflected, I realised that the lesson that I must learn is to “submit” to God’s plan for me & not proactively run after power. Focus on “observing the life events unfold” & not be in a mode of “compulsive doing”.
- The vows & curses reflect the karmas that we are born with. I realised that even when I am not getting the materialistic results that I have been chasing, I am still fulfilling my obligation to live my karma. Both ways I have reason to rejoice.
- Our karmas are coded as energy in our body & we have a choice. When we take birth, we choose our parents to inherit energy patterns from their current & past lives. This sets us as the magnet to attract the events that shape our lives. Once we become aware, we have the choice to heal all those previous energies & ensure that we do not accumulate more in our current life. As I am going through the energy clearing process, I have found different energy patterns stored from different lifetimes of both my father and mother’s side, stored in different parts of my body.
Today, I have grown calm, knowing that there is a pre-designed plan for my career and life. I have realised that I have always been guided on the right path & my career struggles will eventually go away. Till then, I have a wonderful opportunity to experience this challenge with love and peace.
I have been spending time working with my inner child to keep relooking at my entire “life set up” till date as the karmas (vows & curses) that I need to live through & to experience the conditions pre-designed by me. I have changed my perspective, have celebrated the challenges that occurred in the past & am determined to keep celebrating in the future.
While I am hoping that with Akashic records sessions, these situations & struggles will not recur, I am ready to look at them in the new light of experiencing them as fulfilling karma. Slowly but surely, enormous peace has started kicking in & I am feeling better with each passing day. My firm belief is that with the blessing of the divine universe, this inner work done over the last few months will reflect shortly in my external circumstances.