Grief never ends. But it changes. It is a passage and not a place of stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith. It is a price. How to deal with grief is not an answer that is immediately found but a process that uncovers slowly. Coping with grief and anxiety is a transformative journey.
It has taken me a better part of my life to finally come to understand what it means to surrender to the Universe, to surrender to the Divine. I lost my mother a couple of months ago. A devout lady, strong in her faith and private in her observance. After losing her, I truly experienced what is grief.
It is ironic that Family meant everything to her and when she was taking her final breath none of her family was next to her. I did not get to see her when she was wheeled away in an ambulance from my house, and I did not get to talk to her whilst she lay on the hospital bed – her only companion was the ventilator. I did not get to bid her goodbye, period.
When my husband told me that mum had passed on, a sudden calm overtook me – was I in shock? was I in denial? Or was it a lull before the storm? I do not know what emotion engulfed me but I was brave or I thought I was.
Weeks later, I finally broke down and how. I wept alone, wept along with my sisters, wept with acquaintances who sent me condolences messages, wept on hearing loss of the strangers…
Coping with grief alone can be challenging, and the 5 stages of grief may not always follow a linear path.
I was in constant touch with my spiritual coach Dr. Manmit Kumarr. She was helping me to cope with my emotions since all of us in the family were down with a ‘dreaded’ disease. Amidst the pain, loss, and destruction surrounding us, she established a Grief Circle, offering solace and support to those coping with grief. Through meditation, anyone seeking to overcome their grief could find solace within the circle.
Experiencing this moment became a turning point in my journey of coping with grief. I wept again uncontrollably but this time I knew that My Mother was in the hands of her creator- Safe and Secure. When I gain mastery over being a medium under the tutelage of Manmit – Mum and I will talk again.
Thank you Manmit for guiding me selflessly through the process of coping with grief and swim in life!