Grief never ends. But it changes. It is a passage and not a place of stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness nor the lack of faith. It is a price
It has taken me a better part of my life to finally come to understand what it means to surrender to the Universe, to surrender to the Divine. I lost my mother a couple of months ago. A devout lady, strong in her faith and private in her observance. It is ironical that Family meant everything to her and when she was taking her final breath none of her family was next to her. I did not get to see her when she was wheeled away in an ambulance from my house, I did not get to talk to her whilst she lay on the hospital bed – her only companion was the ventilator. I did not get to bid her goodbye, period.
When my husband told me that mum had passed on, a sudden calm overtook me – was I in shock? was I in denial? Or was it a lull before the storm. I do not know what emotion engulfed me but I was brave or I thought I was.
Weeks later, I finally broke down and how. I wept alone, wept along with my sisters, wept with acquaintances who sent me condolences messages, wept on hearing loss of the strangers…
I was in constant touch with my spiritual coach Dr. Manmit Kumarr. (She was helping me to cope with my emotions since all of us in the family were down with ‘dreaded’ disease. With so much pain, loss and destruction happening all around, she formed a Grief circle wherein whoever was trying to overcome their grief could partake in the meditation. This was a turning point in the way I handled my grief. I wept again uncontrollably but this time I knew that My Mother was in the hands of her creator- Safe and Secure. When I gain mastery over being a medium under the tutelage of Manmit – Mum and I will talk again.
Thank you Manmit for guiding me selflessly. You taught me how to swim!