Have you ever wondered why you were born into a certain family or ended up getting married into a particular one? The relationships we are born into, or choose to be a part of, such as our immediate family, friendships, spouses, in-laws, or even co-workers, are a huge part of our lives. But are these relationships random?
Why do some relationships flow without effort while others are rather difficult for us?
Some would argue that the relationships we choose ourselves are easier on us than the ones we don’t have a choice in. While that is true to a huge extent, none of our relationships are random. They are here to teach us, help us grow, or support us.
The connections that flow naturally, and are like our support systems, are most likely part of our soul tribe. But the difficult ones have an even more important role to perform.
In difficult relationships, our limits push us, and we have no choice but to transform. We have to come up with creative solutions to deal with such relationships or we suffer.
We can have tough relationships with our siblings, our parents, our grandparents, our extended family, relatives, employees, employers, and more. The reason behind these could be disrespect, abuse, miscommunication, jealousy, etc.
But, these difficult relationships are a physical manifestation of something deeper.
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Can there be a spiritual aspect to these relationships? How?
Carl Jung, one of the biggest names in Psychiatry, and the study of personality quoted,
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
The evolution of the soul is impossible without an understanding of the self. Before birthing into the physical body, our souls choose relationships and situations that will maximize our soul’s growth.With tough relationships, we may fall into the loop of victimization and become vessels for low-vibrational energy . So how can we understand these connections and invite healing?
An Insight Into the Role of Difficult Relationships:
1. To help us in our growth and in learning our lessons
Vinni was in a marriage where she wasn’t allowed to have any say. What started as a dream became a nightmare for her- a relationship where she had no voice. Her husband wanted to be acknowledged as the man of the family, and thus, his word on everything was final. Vinni felt suffocated.
Vinni kept thinking that if she reasoned with her husband, he would change one day. It wasn’t until she realized that it wasn’t her responsibility to change her husband, that she stopped trying to ‘fix’ things. Day by day, she transformed her frustration into acceptance.
She accepted her partner and accepted his own journey. Vinni turned to herself and dedicated her energy to a rich inner life. Accepting what is and letting go didn’t only make space for peace to enter her life, but eventually brought some shifts in her husband as well.
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2. To be our teachers so that we can expand our hearts more during the relationship
The actions of people close to us can have a lasting impact on us. So many of us have generated biases, insecurities, and beliefs because of how we have been treated in a relationship. One of my clients had a hard and unforgiving relationship with her aunt while growing up, and because of this, she developed strong negative feelings about her capabilities in all aspects of life.
Learning that she needs to accept her authenticity and move beyond any societal definitions of how one is ‘supposed to be’ opened her heart to forgiveness, rewiring those limited beliefs, and mending her relationship with her aunt.
3. To help us balance our karma
As humans, we are karmic beings, which is to say, our actions have consequences. These consequences even travel with us through our different incarnations. Some relationships can be so hard and torturous on us that we find nothing to reason them with.
What can one do in such a situation? It is impeccably true that knowledge gives us power. Know why you are suffering. Is your relationship with your partner a Karmic relationship? Or maybe, your child is not your enemy and the two of you simply need to balance your Karma in this life.
Talking to a professional spiritual coach can help you dive deeper into this understanding. Past life karma may be difficult to identify but is liberating, when known and worked through. Talking to a professional spiritual coach can help you dive deeper into this understanding. Past life karma may be difficult to identify but is liberating, when known and worked through.
Our spiritual journey involves a tremendous amount of transformation and healing. Much of that individualistic transformation is related to our relationships which are tailored to our soul’s growth. Are your heart and mind open to that growth? Let us know in the comments below!